


Pokémon Big Brother

by Kyarorain



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-27
Updated: 2009-10-27
Packaged: 2017-10-11 15:59:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash and friends are forced to spend several weeks in a house, with people being voted out each week. It won't be so dull however as all work and no play makes somebody a dull boy...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pokémon Big Brother

**Pokémon Big Brother**

 

[Rhonda, the Sinnoh Now reporter, is standing in front of a house, which is actually the Old Chateau, and looking straight toward a camera.]

Rhonda: Welcome to Pokémon Big Brother! What happens when we kidnap... ahem, I mean, invite ten lucky people to stay in the Old Chateau for four weeks? However, at the end of those four weeks, only one girl and one boy will remain. At the end of each week, a girl and a boy are voted out of the house and the last ones to remain are the winners.

[The boom mic guy drops the boom mic on her head]

Rhonda: Oof! Watch it, you klutz! Uh, anyway, we're going to go inside and interview our vict... contestants now!

[Rhonda goes into the house where ten people are sitting around in a lounge. She invites them to introduce themselves to the camera one by one.]

Ash: I am Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town and I'm going to be a Pokémon Master one day. This is Pikachu, my best buddy.

Pikachu: Pika!

Brock: I'm Brock and I am single. You hear that? I am willing to date any willing women, so don't hesitate to send me fanmail. [winks at camera and grins]

Tracey: I love Professor Oak! Isn't he just so amazing and cool? Oh yeah, and I'm Tracey Sketchit. In case you couldn't tell by my name, I like drawing.

James: My name is Jameson. I come from a very rich family. Also, I hope to have the world's largest bottlecap collection one day. I am not a criminal, not at all. [is in disguise, so that nobody can recognise him.]

Gary: The name's Gary Oak and I'm a Pokémon researcher. Remember me? I'm that guy who used to show up now and then and now I barely ever even appear. I wonder if I could try bribing the writers...

Misty: I am Misty, the most beautiful girl in the world! [winks and smiles, while holding up fingers in victory pose] You had better believe it!

May: Hi, my name is May and I am a co-ordinator. I also really, really like noodles. I want to eat at all the best restaurants in the world!

Dawn: This is Piplup. Isn't Piplup just so cute? See, look at Piplup here. Piplup wants you to buy its toys.

Piplup: Piplup, pip!

Dawn: Oh yeah, and I'm Dawn. I'm also a co-ordinator.

Jessie: I am the beautiful talented actress and rising star of the future, Jessalina, and I will do my best for my adoring fans! [blows kiss at camera. Like James, she is in disguise.]

Duplica: Anyone remember me? I'm Duplica, that girl with the Ditto. I'm looking forward to having some fun with everyone. [giggles]

Rhonda: And there you have it! How will these ten people cope with living together? Who will you, the viewers, be voting off next week? Only time can tell!

 

**Week One**

 

[Ash is sitting in his room and flicking through a comic, when Misty comes into the room.]

Misty: Hello there, Ashy-b... [coughs] How's it going?

Ash: Were you just about to call me Ashy-boy then?

Misty: What, no. Of course not. Don't be silly. [walks over to sit next to Ash on the bed and smiles] I bet you've been missing me a lot.

Ash: Well, sure, I mean, it's not really the same without you.

Misty: It's been so long since we last saw each other, hasn't it, Ash? I think it's time we did a little catching up.

Ash: Catching up? You mean go out and catch Pokémon? We aren't supposed to leave the house though.

Misty: [sighs and shakes head] Oh, you are so dense sometimes, but that's what I find so cute about you.

Ash: C-cute? Me?

Misty: [leans over and grins insidiously] In fact, Ash... I really like you.

Ash: Uh... [blinks and looks confused] I like you too, Misty. We are friends after all, aren't we?

Misty: [laughs] You are so naive too... I guess I'll just have to show you. [leans in even closer]

[The door suddenly flies open and Misty is standing in the doorway, looking annoyed]

Misty: Duplica! What do you think you're playing at?

Duplica: Oh, whoops. [giggles and gets off the bed] Well, see you later, Ashy-boy! [skips out of room]

Ash: Uh... okay then.

Misty: She is such a freak...

[Dawn and Gary are in the lounge, where Dawn is pestering Gary.]

Dawn: Hey, poetry guy's grandson?

Gary: You know, I do have a name.

Dawn: But you are the grandson of the poetry guy! And I want you to say a poem for me!

Gary: Oh, geez. [mutters] Why did I have to start being nice?

Dawn: So, will you say a poem about Piplup? Please?

Gary: But, Dawn, I'm not even a poet.

Dawn: Poetry is in your blood, so you must be!

Gary: o_o In my blood? Are you serious?

Dawn: Uh huh, now buy Piplup's- uh, I mean, give us a poem!

Gary: [sigh] Fine, fine. The Pikachu clone, Piplup makes some people groan.

Dawn: Bravo! [claps] You are just as good as your grandfather!

Gary: Please. Somebody help me...

[Brock is cooking in the kitchen, Tracey is watching.]

Tracey: I miss Professor Oak so much.

Brock: Tracey, you've been complaining about how much you miss Professor Oak all the time...

Tracey: Hey, I miss him, okay? Anyway, what about you? You're cooking and cleaning all the time.

Brock: That's because that's about all I ever do. Plus, nobody else in this house seems capable of cooking.

Tracey: What about the cleaning?

Brock: Nobody ever picks up after themselves. So I have to do it for them.

Tracey: Hey, want to see my drawing of Professor Oak?

Brock: Um, Tracey, I'm a little busy right now. Could you go and show someone else?

Tracey: I really like to draw! [walks out of the kitchen]

Brock: What is with him? [continues stirring pot] I wonder when the fan mail is going to start coming in. I really can't wait! All those women are going to be seeing me on TV and they will surely write to me, telling me how much they wish I could be their boyfriend! Oh yes!

[Jessie and James are outside in the garden, talking among themselves]

James: So, Jessie, do we have some kind of plan or what?

Jessie: Huh, a plan? I don't know what you mean...

James: You've got to have some kind of plan. You're the one who made us sign up for this thing. We're supposed to be stealing Pokémon so that we can get a promotion, remember?

Jessie: Oh yeah, that. Well, the reason is... I just came on here to be famous. Just you wait, at the end of this, I will be the winner! [laughs maniacally]

James: Oh, brother... we've got to spend five weeks in this house among those twerps for nothing?

Jessie: Nothing? Are you insinuating that fame means _nothing_? [thwaps James with paper fan]

James: Ow, ow, ow... okay, I take that back. Hey, what did we do with Meowth anyway?

Jessie: Hmm, good question... eh, who cares. I'm going to be famous! Everyone will love me!

James: [mutters] She can be so delusional...

[May and Dawn are chatting in the lounge]

Dawn: Piplup is just so adorable. I love it to bits.

May: So... er, how was your last contest? Did you win?

Dawn: Sure. But don't you think Piplup is the cutest thing ever?

May: Well... I think Pikachu is cuter, to be honest.

Dawn: R-really? Hmm... maybe I should dress Piplup up in a Pikachu outfit!

May: Please tell me you're joking...

Dawn: Joking? I was being serious. Why would you think I wouldn't being serious?

May: Um... you know, I went to this really great restaurant in Johto and it had this wonderful spicy banana bread. [sighs] It was delicious.

Dawn: You're just changing the subject on me, aren't you?

[Misty comes in]

Misty: What is wrong with that Duplica?

May: What's the matter now?

Misty: She just dressed up as Ash and tried to get me to tell her how I felt about him. [sits down and sighs in frustration] I could tell it was her immediately.

May: Heh... she does seem a little crazy. Does she think you two like each other?

Dawn: Are we about to have an obligatory conversation about boys now?

Misty: Oh great. How clichéd. Whatever. Let's just get it over with.

May: Um... well, I kinda like... er... [blushes]

Dawn: May?

May: Er... actually, it's a secret.

Misty: All I have these days is Tracey. Sometimes I think that's what the writers are thinking. He even gave me a Pokémon egg.

Dawn: Tracey's cool. He likes Professor Oak as well. We have so much fun talking about Professor Oak.

May: Okay... now I am officially disturbed.

Misty: [eye twitches] So, who do you actually like, Dawn?

Dawn: Gary! Because he's the poetry guy's grandson!

[Misty and May both groan in disgust, wondering what is wrong with Dawn.]

May: Okay... um... I like... Ash.

Misty: [laughs]

May: Huh? Why are you laughing?

Misty: [slaps knees] I'm sorry. I dunno. I just found that joke hilarious. Hah hah hah.

May: ¬_¬ Yeah... a joke... sure...

Dawn: o_0

[Ash and Tracey are in another room, where Tracey is drawing Ash's Pokémon]

Ash: Um... Tracey...

Tracey: Yeah? [is frenziedly sketching]

Ash: You've sketched them all three times already. Aren't you getting a little bored of it?

Tracey: Of course not! I've also been sketching the others' Pokémon as well, except for that man and woman. They wouldn't even let me.

Ash: Jessalina and Jameson, right? They never talk to us. I guess they must be shy.

Tracey: You don't think maybe they are a bit suspicious?

Ash: No. Why would I think that?

Tracey: Of course you wouldn't. You're Ash.

Ash: Huh? What does that mean?

[Duplica enters]

Duplica: What he means is that you're dense, Ashy-boy.

Ash: Stop calling me that already...

Duplica: Nope. ^_^ [sits down next to Ash and puts her arm around him] We're friends and friends can do whatever they like.

Ash: You showed up in two episodes!

Duplica: At least I got an extra episode unlike all those other Characters of the Day. How many of them did you promise to see again?

Ash: I, er, lost count... and why are you so close to me?

Tracey: You can't even tell when a girl's flirting with you. You really are a lost cause... [goes back to drawing]

Ash: Eh? Flirting?

Duplica: I'm hoping we can spend a lot more time together, Ashy-boy. [winks and then gets up, leaving the room]

Ash: I swear she's crazy... D=

Tracey: Quite...

[James is alone in Jessie's bedroom and trying on her clothes.]

James: I must be really bored if I'm going back to cross-dressing...

[Jessie comes in and stares]

James: Uh, Jessie dear, I can explain...

Jessie: I just hope you're wearing your underwear. [walks into bathroom]

James: Okay then... [looks in mirror and poses] Don't I just make the cutest guy?

[Week One eventually comes to an end and it's time for the voting. Everyone is sitting in the lounge, looking nervous, while Rhonda prepares to announce the results.]

Rhonda: It's that time of the week and everyone is now awaiting the results. Who will be the first ones to leave the Old Chateau? The votes have come in and we're just about to announce the losers!

[Dramatic pause]

Rhonda: Tracey and Dawn!

Tracey: Alright, that means I can get back to the lab and helping out Professor Oak. I'm not disappointed at all!

Dawn: Aw, man, I can't believe it. Now how will Piplup get its screentime? Nobody loves me...

 

**Week Two**

 

[Ash, Brock, Gary, Misty, May and Duplica are sitting in the lounge and chatting.]

Brock: I have a very important issue to raise.

Gary: Go ahead. We could use an interesting topic to talk about for once.

May: I know what you mean... I'm running out of things to talk about.

Misty: Tell me about it...

Ash: Would anyone like to battle me? I miss having Pokémon battles...

Duplica: You can battle me anytime, Ashy-boy. ^_-

Misty: Ugh. You are pathetic.

May: [glares at Duplica, but nobody sees]

Brock: Ahem. Has anybody else been getting their fanmail?

Ash: I haven't really been getting that much... but I got a couple of really weird ones from some crazy girls, professing their love to me or something weird like that.

Gary: Even Ashy-boy gets love letters? [cracks up]

Ash: And I suppose you get them?

Gary: Sure, I've been getting a few while I'm in here. I'm still popular with the girls.

Brock: Has everyone been getting fanmail?

May: Sure. I've got a few.

Misty: Me too.

Duplica: I only got like a couple letters or so, but I'm a very minor character who was only in two episodes, so what do you expect?

Brock: I see...

Misty: What's wrong, Brock? Haven't you been getting mail?

Brock: Well, only from other Pokémon breeders so far... I guess... maybe the ladies are just shy or something. Heh... I'm sure the fanmail will come flooding in soon enough... [twitches] Even Ash got love letters...

Ash: Do you want them?

Brock: No! Just... I'm going to go clean... [leaves]

May: Poor Brock. He just wants to be loved and he's not getting it.

Misty: He never will, the way he carries on.

Ash: Well, I'm glad he's here. He cooks great food. If he was gone, then who would cook?

Gary: You people treat him like a slave, I swear.

Ash: We do?

Duplica: I would happily be a love slave to somebody. [grins]

Misty: Duplica, would you just cut it out already?

Duplica: What's the matter? Jealous?

Misty: Jealous? Me? Are you crazy?

Ash: What's a love slave?

May: And he doesn't get it... as usual.

[Out in the garden, Jessie is sunbathing in a very skimpy bikini]

Jessie: Prepare for nudity, and make it slutty. To protect the world from prudence, to delight all people with decadence. To denounce the evils of covering up, to drive my screentime up. Jessie! Taking off my clothes at the speed of light. Enjoy my fanservice or prepare to fight.

[James is walking through the house looking bored when Ash suddenly comes up to him]

Ash: Hi!

James: Ack!

Ash: Is something wrong?

James: [laughs awkwardly] Er... no. My, that is a very fine looking Pikachu on your shoulder. [muttering] Sure wish we were stealing it right now.

Pikachu: Pikachu!

Ash: Thanks. So, Jameson, how come you and Jessalina never come and talk to us? You don't have to be shy, you know.

James: Um... well, we're just very private people, I guess you could say.

Ash: Uh huh. Well, since I've got nothing better to do, I'm going to start up a club.

James: A club?

Ash: Yeah, it's called the Team Rocket Sucks club and we're basically going to talk about how much Team Rocket sucks.

James: That's a pretty lousy idea for a club... [eyebrow is twitching]

Ash: Yeah, but I couldn't really think of much else. [holds out form] So, be sure to fill this in, okay?

James: What makes you think I would join?

Ash: Of course you'll join. ^_^ Because you must hate Team Rocket too, right? If you don't join, then that means you don't hate Team Rocket, which would also mean you were probably in Team Rocket. [looks suspicious] I sure hope you aren't.

James: Ugh... fine! [snatches away form] Now quit bothering me! Bothersome twerp... [walks off into garden and sees Jessie on sunlounger in very interesting position] Huh...?

Jessie: Get out of here, you pervert! [throws frying pan at James's head and knocks him unconscious accidentally] Whoops. Huh, what's that piece of paper he's holding? [picks it up and reads] Team Rocket Sucks Club? You were joining it? [angrily beats up James's unconscious body and storms inside in a rage]

James: [soon wakes up and rubs head] Ow... she didn't have to throw that frying pan at me... hey, where did Jessie go? Jessie? [goes to Jessie's room and knocks on the door] Jessie, are you in there?

Jessie: I'm not talking to you! You can go and join your Team Rocket Sucks Club, traitor!

James: T-traitor? But you don't understand! Jessie? D=

[May and Duplica are in another room, just talking to each other.]

May: So... uh, Duplica, do you really like Ash?

Duplica: Oh? Why do you want to know that?

May: Well, er, no reason really.

Duplica: [smirks] I see...

May: Huh, what? What do you see?

Duplica: You like Ashy-boy, don't you?

May: [blushes furiously] Wha-! No! I don't know what you're talking about!

Duplica: Uh huh, sure. Well, you've got competition, girl, and this competition is going to be good. [smirks] So long as you rise to the bait, that is. I don't know what's up with Misty. She hasn't tried to tear my hair out yet.

May: Uh... er... you aren't going to tear my hair out too, are you?

Duplica: [grins] Depends. Maybe we'll have to fight over Ashy-boy sometime.

May: =/ But... I don't want to fight... do you honestly like him or are you just teasing?

Duplica: Se~cr~et! [wags finger]

May: No offence, but you're weird...

Duplica: Weird? Me? I'm just a fun loving girl who likes to imitate others! [smiles brightly]

May: ... [sweat drops]

[Misty and Brock are also talking to each other somewhere]

Misty: Brock, are you really okay?

Brock: Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?

Misty: You are rocking in a corner and talking to yourself.

Brock: Nobody understands how I feel!

Misty: I get it. You're feeling lonely and want women to send you mail. Do you really think that's going to happen?

Brock: It will happen... I know it will...

Misty: You're really starting to act strange, Brock. When you're not cooking and cleaning all the time, that is. =/

Brock: I don't know what you mean... I'm totally fine...

Misty: Uh huh. Suuuure... [looks doubtful]

[Week Two comes to an end and it's voting time again. Everyone is in the lounge, waiting for the results.]

Rhonda: Week Two is over already? My, how the time flies! Already, we are about to let two more people go. Now, who will our viewers be voting off next? The results are just about to come in!

[Don't you just love dramatic pauses?]

Rhonda: The ones being voted off are Gary and Jessalina!

Gary: Eh, I'm being voted off? Guess I wasn't interesting enough or something... too bad.

Jessie: What? No! I am an actress! You can't do this to me. I won't let you! [is dragged away by security]

 

**Week Three**

 

[In the lounge, everyone's favourite hangout spot, Ash is looking very perplexed as Duplica snuggles up to him.]

Ash: Geez, Duplica, I don't want to sound mean... but you are kind of being... well, annoying.

Misty: I agree! Get the heck off him already! [angrily walks over and pulls Duplica off]

Duplica: Hey! [rubs arm and pouts] You don't have to be so rough!

Misty: Will you quit playing stupid games already?

Duplica: And who says I'm playing? Huh? Anyway, Ashy-boy doesn't mind, right?

Ash: Actually...

Duplica: [giggles and waves hand, cutting him off] You know you like it really!

May: Uh... I agree with Misty. Will you quit hassling Ash?

Duplica: You are both just jealous. [sticks out tongue]

Ash: Will someone tell me what's going on already? Why is Duplica being so weird?

Misty: I'm not jealous. I just think you are being annoying and over the top!

May: Yeah, I'm jealous... so what?

Misty: What? You seriously weren't kidding?

May: [blushes] Er...

Misty: Believe me, May, when you realise that he's never even going to get it, then you'll change your mind.

Duplica: My, my! Sounds like someone is speaking from experience.

Ash: You girls are weird. I'm going to go and find out why that Jameson guy hasn't given me his form yet. [leaves]

Misty: Ugh... you know nothing about me. Nothing!

May: What makes you think you'll be able to get Ash anyway, Duplica?

Duplica: At least I'm trying.

May: [growls] Well, two can play at that game...

Misty: Is this going where I think it's going?

Duplica: Ohhhh... I take it we're going to be competing against each other now?

May: You got it! [raises fist and looks determined]

Misty: I can't believe this. [facepalms]

[Brock is sitting at a bar, looking positively miserable.]

Brock: All I ever do is cook or clean for everyone. I'm trapped in this house, unable to leave and find beautiful women. Nobody is even sending me fanmail. Why am I so alone? I just want somebody to love me. [sighs] I don't know how much more I can take of this.

[Suddenly, a stunning blonde and busty barmaid appears behind the bar, smiling at Brock.]

Barmaid: Hello, Brocky.

Brock: Ack! Oh great, I am going insane. Now I am definitely not going to get fanmail. Who would send fanmail to an insane person?

Barmaid: You look so depressed, Brocky.

Brock: Why do you keep calling me Brocky?

Barmaid: I'm sorry. Don't you like it?

Brock: Oh no, it's okay. [blushes] You're really pretty.

Barmaid: Why, thank you. You poor thing, you are all alone without a woman to love you.

Brock: [weeps] I know!

Barmaid: All work and no play makes Brock a dull boy, doesn't it?

Brock: I don't want to be a dull boy...

Barmaid: That's right. You don't need to worry anymore, Brocky. I'm here for you. [reaches out and touches his face] We shall meet again. I promise. [disappears]

Brock: Huh? Where did she go? I sure hope that I can meet her again... that's it! I am not going to cook and clean anymore! Everyone else can do it. They are just lazy, expecting me to do all their work. I shall not be a dull boy anymore! [laughs crazily]

[Ash has just bumped into James outside his room]

Ash: Hey, Jameson.

James: You. What do you want, twer... Ash.

Ash: I was just a little worried. You haven't given me your filled in form.

James: Form?

Ash: Yeah, you know... the Team Rocket Sucks club form?

James: Oh. That.

Ash: I thought maybe you had forgotten. Be sure to give it to me soon, okay? Otherwise Pikachu might have to have a word with you. [laughs jokingly]

Pikachu: Pika?

James: Ugh! Fine, you accursed twerp, I'll give you your bloody form! [stomps back into room in annoyance and slams door]

Ash: My name is Ash, not twerp... what is up with that guy anyway?

James: [cries on bed] I hate that annoying twerp! It's all his fault that Jessie is mad at me... I wish that someone would just snap and chase him with a mallet and try to kill him or something. I'm too much of a nice guy to even try something like that. Life is so unfair...

[Brock is in the kitchen, writing 'All work and no play makes Brock a dull boy' on the walls in crayon while chuckling under his breath. Misty walks into the kitchen and stares.]

Misty: Brock... you aren't going insane, are you?

Brock: Insane? Me? No, I'm just fine!

Misty: You don't look like you've slept in a while either. You've got bags under your... er...

Brock: They are eyes, okay?

Misty: Are you sure they are eyes?

Brock: Did you just come in here to make fun of me?

Misty: No. I came in here to get some soda. [opens fridge and grabs a can] Seriously, Brock, there's more to life than women. There's no need to be such a loser, really. [leaves kitchen]

Brock: None of them understand how I feel... [weeps and wipes eyes]

[Ash is now sitting outside, looking very confused as May and Duplica sit on either side of him, glaring at each other.]

May: So, Ash, I was thinking I would... try and cook. What's your favourite food again?

Duplica: Oh please, you don't even know his favourite food? It's totally... er, burgers!

Ash: Um, no. It's rice balls.

Duplica: Yeah, well, 4Kids must have called them burgers at one point so I'm technically right.

May: You are hopeless.

Duplica: You know what, Ashy-boy? I think you are the best Pokémon trainer ever.

May: Oh please! You can't seriously think inflating his ego is the way to go?

Duplica: Like you can do any better?

May: At least I'm not being an obvious floozy!

Ash: QUIET! Both of you are getting on my nerves... well, okay, May, you're not so bad. But, Duplica, you're being totally annoying and I don't even know what's the matter with you, so will you just quit pestering me already?

Duplica: ... Right. I see. [gets up, her eyes are obscured by shadow]

Ash: Wait... I didn't mean to upset you...

Duplica: [laughs] I guess the game's over now. But it was fun while it lasted!

May: Game? It was a GAME?

Duplica: Yep! Ashy-boy may be cute, but he's just not really my type.

May: [clenches fists] Ugh...

Ash: It was just a game? Okay, I feel a little better now... I think. [laughs nervously] Just please don't play that game again, okay?

Duplica: Good luck to you both, okay? I'm sure you two would make a cute couple!

Ash: Us? A couple? No way!

May: Yeah, that's just crazy!

Duplica: [shakes head] You kids are hopeless... well, guess it can't be helped.

[Misty is going upstairs in the elevator and steps out to see blood gushing through the corridor]

Misty: Um... what the? Did I just see blood? No... I'm just imagining things, that's all. Right.

[Week Three comes to an end, which means it's voting time yet again. As usual, the contestants are assembled in the lounge while Rhonda is ready to read out the results of the voting.]

Rhonda: Time really flies, doesn't it? Who will be getting the boot next?

[Yet another dramatic pause]

Rhonda: Jameson and Duplica!

James: I'm finally out of here! Now I can get back to Jessie and Meowth, and we can return to our thieving ways!

Duplica: Well, it was fun while it lasted! ^_^

 

**Week Four**

 

[Ash. Misty and May are in the lounge.]

Ash: I'm worried about Brock.

Misty: Brock has been acting a bit strange lately...

May: He's sitting in his room all the time and I think he might be talking to himself.

Ash: He didn't even cook dinner for us last night. What's going on? The place is looking a little less clean too.

Misty: Maybe he just got sick of cooking for us?

Ash: No way! Brock always cooks for us. Something's got to be wrong.

May: Come on, Ash, you think there's something wrong with him just because he didn't cook dinner?

Ash: Yeah, that's right.

May: That's ridiculous...

Misty: I think we should keep a close eye on him. Something just isn't right about him.

[Brock is sitting in his room, rocking back and forth and looking crazed.]

Brock: No fanmail... I still got no fanmail...

Barmaid: Hi, Brocky.

Brock: Ah! It's you!

Barmaid: You haven't come to the bar since we met. Is everything okay?

Brock: Well, it's just... I thought it would be better to stay away from there.

Barmaid: Listen, Brocky. The way your friends are treating you is simply despicable, don't you think? They expect you to cook and clean while they just sit around and do nothing. I think they need a little correction. It is not right to treat you like this.

Brock: It's okay. I don't mind... really...

Barmaid: Are you sure? Doesn't it bother you even a little? They don't even care that you are all alone. Why, they are getting letters of love and adoration while you aren't even getting any. It seems so unfair, doesn't it?

Brock: I guess so...

Barmaid: Exactly. I think they could do with a little correction, if you don't mind my saying so.

Brock: Correction? They haven't even done anything wrong!

Barmaid: Oh, but they have. They have trapped you in this house, made you a slave.

Brock: They didn't trap me... Rhonda did.

Barmaid: Come on now, Brocky. Do you really think it's fair that they make you cook and clean all the time? Maybe the fact that's all you do is the reason you haven't even received any fanmail. Didn't you consider that? Women are not seeking out a housewife, are they?

Brock: Hmm... you have a point.

Barmaid: You had a chance to show your true self to everyone out there and your friends ruined it all for you. They forced you into the babysitting role and made you unappealing to women watching this show. It is simply awful, Brocky, and you can't let this vile behaviour continue.

Brock: So... what do you suggest I do?

Barmaid: The answer is simple. [walks over to stand opposite a mirror, pulls out red tube of lipstick and scrawls 'Redrum' in backwards handwriting, then dramatically points at mirror]

Brock: [stands up and stares at mirror] Isn't that a little extreme?

Barmaid: Do it for me, my dear Brocky. [walks over and kisses him, then disappears again]

Brock: Hmm... it seems a little crazy but... oh man. I don't know anymore! [sinks to floor, holding head]

[Ash is walking through the upstairs hallway when he hears a voice calling out his name.]

Ash: Huh... hey, Pikachu, do you hear that?

Pikachu: Pika? [looks confused]

Ash: Someone's calling me... [approaches a door] I think it's coming from here... [opens door and steps inside] Hello? Huh, there's nobody here...

Pikachu: Pikapi? =/

Ash: Maybe it's coming from the bathroom? [goes to the bathroom and opens the door, stepping inside] Anybody there?

[A creepy woman covered in blood who looks a lot like the barmaid suddenly lurches out of the bath]

Ash: What the? When did you get in here? You seem hurt... are you okay?

Pikachu: Pi?! [cringes]

[The creepy woman lurches toward Ash, snarling]

Ash: Hey, I just want to help you... wait a minute, something really smells... does that mean... [screams]

[May is coming upstairs and hears the scream. She runs to the room and comes into the bathroom where Ash is cringing against a wall and the bloodied woman is advancing on him. The creepy woman runs and jumps back into the bath, pulling back the curtain.]

May: Ash, are you okay?

Ash: Scary... woman... what was that? D=

May: I don't know... [goes over to bath and pulls back curtain to see that the woman is gone] She's gone.

Ash: No kidding? D= Then what's going on here?

May: I don't know, but this is really disturbing.

[Misty stands outside Brock's room. For some reason, the door is locked.]

Misty: Hey, Brock, are you okay?

Brock: [is lying on bed and staring at ceiling]

Misty: Ash is complaining because you haven't been cooking for us. But it's okay, really. There's plenty of food for us so it's no big deal. You know how he can be sometimes anyway.

Brock: [continues to stare]

Misty: Something's wrong with you, isn't it? Look, just because you aren't getting fanmail, there's no reason to be like this. It won't be long before this is over and you can go out and flirt with all those women again.

Brock: ...

Misty: We're worried about you, Brock. Something just isn't right. So, please, will you at least say something?

Brock: ...

Misty: Geez... you are hopeless. I can't wait for this stupid show to be over, then things can be back to normal. [walks away]

Brock: Nobody understands...

Barmaid: Hello, Brocky. It's me again.

Brock: I am really insane, aren't I?

Barmaid: Here. This is a mallet. I want you to use this mallet when the time is right. I know you may be feeling a little... reluctant about correcting your friends, but it is necessary. It is the only way that you and I can be together. I hope that you can understand. [hands Brock the mallet]

Brock: I'm supposed to use this?

Barmaid: If we are to have a future together, then you must do this for me. You understand, don't you? [kisses him and disappears yet again]

Brock: That barmaid is so pretty... and hot... I think we could have a future together.

[Misty, Ash and May are in the lounge again.]

May: Does anyone else think Brock has been behaving really strangely?

Misty: Well, yeah, all he does is sit in his room these days. It's weird.

Ash: And what's with him not cooking for us?

May: Earlier today, I went into his room... I guess he was in the bathroom, and I found these weird drawings all over his bed. They were stick figure drawings.

Misty: So he draws stick figures. Big deal.

May: That's not it! The stick figures looked just like us and the Brock stick figure looked like he was killing us.

Ash: Well... maybe he just doesn't like stick figures?

Misty: [groan] You are pathetic.

May: Come on, Ash! Don't you get it?

Ash: Are you seriously suggesting Brock wants us dead? [laughs] That's just silly!

May: No, of course not. I'm just worried...

Misty: Something just isn't right with him... I wish there was something we could do.

Ash: I'm sure Brock is fine. You're just worrying about nothing.

[It's another day and Ash is banging on Brock's door.]

Ash: Brock! Hey, Brock, open up! Are you okay in there? You haven't cooked dinner for us in days and the place looks like a pigsty...

[The door eventually opens and Brock stands in the doorway, holding the mallet]

Brock: Hello, Ash. What's the matter?

Ash: Well... you're acting kind of weird, I guess. And you haven't been cooking for us lately.

Brock: I see. So, am I nothing more than your personal chef and babysitter?

Ash: Uh, what do you mean by that?

Brock: I have had it with your constant demands to cook and I have decided to personally correct you. [raises mallet]

Ash: Eh? WAH! [narrowly dodges swinging mallet] Careful, Brock, you almost hit me!

Pikachu: Pika, pikachu. [walks away in disgust]

Ash: Hey, Pikachu, where are you going? [backs away as Brock once more tries to hit him with the mallet] Come on, Brock, this isn't funny! What are you trying to do, kill me?

Brock: Well, yeah. I think so.

Ash: o_o;;; Meep! [runs for it] Heeeellllp! Brock's trying to kill me!

[Misty and May are out in the garden and therefore do not hear Ash's cries for help. Brock continues to chase Ash, who flees all the way to the kitchen and stops in front of the larder, turning around to face Brock who is slowly walking toward him.]

Ash: Heh... um, Brock, I was just kidding about the whole cooking dinner thing, really.

Brock: No, you weren't.

Ash: Um... well, we've been friends for a really long time now. Doesn't it seem just a little crazy to throw all that away just because you're a little mad?

Brock: Sorry, Ash, but the nice lady says that I must kill you all.

Ash: What nice lady?

[Croagunk has finally decided Brock has had enough fun and pops out of its Poké Ball, hitting Brock with Poison Jab and causing him to collapse.]

Ash: What took you so long, Croagunk?

Croagunk: [just stares]

Ash: Hmm, the larder locks on the outside. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put Brock in there for a while until he calms down. [drags Brock into the larder with Croagunk following] Sorry, Brock, but you're being kinda scary at the moment so I'm just going to lock you in here for a while. You look after him, Croagunk. [leaves and locks door behind him, leaning against it and sighing] Whew... that sure was scary...

[Misty and May come into the kitchen]

Misty: Ash, is everything okay?

May: We thought we could hear you screaming.

Ash: Oh, it was nothing really. Brock chased me with a mallet and tried to kill me, so I locked him in the larder.

Misty: Okay then...

May: Jeez, I sure hope he can get over whatever is bothering him soon.

Ash: Do either of you know anything about a nice lady?

Misty/May: Nope.

Ash: Huh, weird... I wonder what he was talking about.

[Brock is sitting in the larder alone, having recalled Croagunk]

Brock: How much longer am I going to be trapped in here? This is getting boring... then again, it's no more boring than being trapped in this house.

Barmaid: [is outside door] Poor Brocky. You are trapped in the larder with no escape.

Brock: Ack! It's the scary lady!

Barmaid: Scary lady? Have you forgotten how big my rack is?

Brock: Oh... oh yeah... [starts drooling]

Barmaid: I really do want us to be together, Brocky, but first you simply must correct those awful, so-called "friends" of yours. They are cruel people who mock you and force you to do their bidding. That boy even locked you in here!

Brock: Well, I was trying to kill him...

Barmaid: I am going to let you out now, Brocky, but you really must do a better job this time around. It is important that you do this so that we can be together. Understand?

Brock: Sure! You are a really nice lady... not like all those mean ladies who aren't sending me fanmail...

Barmaid: Exactly. Have fun. [unlocks door and disappears]

Brock: [steps out of larder and sees an axe lying next to the door] Wow, she really wants me to kill everyone, doesn't she? [picks up axe and walks off]

[Ash, Misty and May are sitting in the lounge with the door closed. Suddenly, the axe smashes right through it, causing them all to scream in shock.]

Brock: [peers through hole] Heeeere's Johnny!

Ash: Your name is Brock.

Brock: ... Yeah, now I have no idea why I even said that. Eh, whatever. [continues smashing door]

May: What did the door ever do to you?

Misty: Hey, Brock, guess what? [kneels in front of door and holds out a stack of envelopes] A bunch of fanmail just came in for you!

Brock: Huh? Really? [grabs fanmail] Awesome! I guess it must have been getting lost in the post or something weird like that. Maybe the ladies finally realised they wanted me! This is great! [skips away, singing happily]

May: Whew. Disaster averted.

Misty: How did he even get out of the larder in the first place?

Ash: Who knows? I just hope he doesn't figure out we wrote all that "fanmail" for him.

Misty: Don't worry, he won't.

[Week Four comes to an end. Ash, Brock, Misty and May are all sitting in the lounge, anxiously anticipating the results. Rhonda is ready to announce them.]

Rhonda: Well, that was an intense week, wasn't it? Don't even ask why we stood by and did nothing while one of them went insane and tried to kill everyone else, we don't even know why ourselves. Now, it's time to see who gets voted off! This will also decide just who our winners are!

[The Night of The Revenge of The Bride of the Son of the Lover of Dramatic Pause]

Rhonda: Misty and Brock have both been voted out!

Misty: Well, I can get back to the gym now, I guess. I hope my sisters have been taking good care of the place while I'm gone.

Brock: Yay! I'm free and I can go out and flirt with all those beautiful women again. I can't wait!

Rhonda: This means that our winners are... Ash and May!

Ash: We can finally get out of this creepy place? Thank goodness...

May: I want to eat at a really nice restaurant...

Rhonda: You two get 1,000 Pokédollars each and a certificate for winning. Happy spending! [turns to camera] And that's the end of this show. Hope you enjoyed it! [waves and is suddenly sent crashing to floor by the boom mic of doom] Ugh!


End file.
